Perspective on the Church Nursery

There seems to be some confusion on what it is to be a Family Integrated Church. I will be the first to admit that FIC means different things to different people. That means that a church who takes the name FIC must define what that means at that particular church. I know that at Waco Family one area that needs consideration is that of the church nursery.

We have all grown up and many of us had our children in the typical church nursery. Some of those nurseries are hi-tech fortresses with beepers, security cameras and armed guards (well maybe not armed...) Because "we've always done it that way" we may have a tendency to just assume that it is the best way and that we are following a model that fits with the Bible (our only certain rule for faith and practice). We do need to question all of our practices. We are not only reformed, we are reforming. This means that we are constantly being shaped to better fit the biblical mold – constantly adapting our practice to match our faith as guided by scripture. (Semper Reformanda)

The best study I've found on the subject of the nursery was done by Dr. Voddie Baucham. You can read his blog from the link on this page. Here are some thoughts I had and a synopsis of my findings in studying the subject.

First, can we admit that churches today are basically anti-family and anti-child/anti-baby (especially anti-baby). Here's what I mean. The typical church takes great pain and pride (and spends great budget dollars) to ensure that there is a separate place for each age group represented by any given family. Emphasis on SEPARATE place. It is not at all uncommon to have a different area of meeting for infants/toddlers, grade school children, middleschoolers, highschoolers, college students, and adults. Even in the small churches that can't take on the burden of all of these groups they ATLEAST have a separate place for the babies (which is why I said "especially anti-baby"). "The family that prays together stays together", but in the typical American church there is no family that prays together – or sings together, or hears the Word of God together. Most churches intentionally segregate families. The majority opinion seems to be that children are disruptive and are not capable of being otherwise. It is thought unreasonable to ask a child of 1-8 years of age (some would say 0-18) to stay in a worship service for 60-90 minutes without a meltdown. (I'll address this thinking, but not now)

Well, that's what happens. Adult Christian people don't want to be bothered by infants and children in church so we exclude them. The next logical question is, "does the Bible speak to the matter?" There is no specific "nursery passage" that we can turn to and get our direction from. Because of this, it is important to say that no reasonable position on the subject should be cause for us to break fellowship over. But at the same time it is important that we weigh the indirect teachings of Scripture to guide us in our practice and obedience.

Passages for the Nursery:

Some suggest that Nehemiah 8 makes the case for a nursery. This is based on the fact that the assembly is stated to include "both men and women and all who could understand ". The assumption is that this is a comprehensive lists of the attenders. It is assumed that there were no children, and therefore we should not include children in our worship services as well. Dr. Baucham has done a superb job at addressing this issue, and I urge you to read his writing addressing these verses (there are 2 parts, so read them both). I know of no other passage that can even be stretched to speak in favor of a nursery (and the Nehemiah passage has to be stretched to do so).

Passages against the Nursery:

As I already stated, there are no "thou shalt not..." passages about the nursery. There are, however, some passage that speak in opposition to such age segregation without a direct command.

First in Deuteronomy 31:12-13 we see an instruction for the teaching of God's law. "Assemble the people, men, women, and little ones,...their children" does explicitly state that this assembly was to include children. Ezra 10:1 speaks of "a very great assembly of men, women, and children". There seems to be more on inclusion than there is on exclusion. Zero places explicitly state that children are left out of the assembly, and here are 2 that explicitly state the opposite. But, you might think, we are New Testament Christians. Did Jesus ever address this issue? Yes He did. In Matthew 19, the people were bringing their children to the worship service (well they were bringing them to Jesus). The disciples said (paraphrased with tongue-firmly-in-check), "Those kids can't come in here. They need to be in the nursery or in children's church." (end of sarcasm) Jesus told them to allow the children to come to Him. Only one chapter earlier, Jesus was teaching and called a child out of the congregation to use as an illustration. I kind of think He probably just picked up the closest one – He definitely didn't send Peter to fetch one from the nursery. The children were not in isolation, but rather they were in the crowd following Jesus.

Similarly, Paul addresses the subject indirectly. Paul says in Ephesians and Colossians, "Children, obey your parents." Paul did not say, "Father's when you pick your children up from the nursery tell them that I said..." Paul's assumption was that the children were in the assembly where the letter was to be read – so he just addresses them directly and specifically. Pauls letters did not include the adult version and the accompanying children's lessons that should correspond.

I'd like to address more on this:

"Age appropriate" worship

What about observing the Lord's table with young children present?

Is there a place for "Jesus Loves Me" and "O Be Careful Little Hands What You Do" ?

What should we do about visitors who expect a nursery?

I must leave that for another time.

Pastor