First Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask, Then You Will Be Able To Assist Others

Driving home and searching the radio stations randomly is a lot like playing Russian Roulette. Tonight I found a live one.

Leeza Gibbons has a radio program! There must be some parachute clause in the contract of all Entertainment Tonight hosts that entitles them to a radio talking music show. First John Tesh, and now Leeza. She plays music and between songs enlightens the world with her wisdom. Tonight she had a guest join in the conversation via phone - how exciting. Leeza was joined by Cheryl Seban, author of "What Is Your Self-Worth: A Woman's Guide to Validation". Dr. Seban's stated goal is to help women connect with their own innate value, connect to their unique authentic selves, recognize and validate their contributions to the world. I listened, and I learned some things.

Before I go any further, let me state my position on women. Read carefully, because I am a middle-aged conservative Baptist pastor - that group that has been accused lately of being part of "global mistreatment of women". So you should listen to my view on women before you read further. I'll include here my view on race and racism as well, because it's all related in my view. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. There is not even a true classification of race - there are different ethnicities, but we are all of the Adamic race (Adam is the father of every person, and Noah is our father as well). And there is absolutely no difference in value between male and female.

Let me clarify one caveat. There is a difference between men and women. I remember a talk with my dad, then a high school biology class. Anyone who says there is no difference is a complete idiot. There are physical differences, emotional differences, social differences, and role distinctions. The "women's liberation" movement (should be the "women's domination" movement) is on a course to eliminate these distinctions. I truly believe that the line would be, "we don't hate men, we just really love women." The problem I have with the direction of our world toward women is that it does not help women find their true "Validation" in being women. Rather, it tries to make women INTO men. The logic seems to be that somehow by emasculating men that women move up in the world. That's stupid. It's like me saying when I'm injured that if I injure you, then I won't be injured. Shouldn't we value men AND women - equally. I'm not denying abuse and those who would oppress women, but the answer is not found in women ceasing to be womanly. OK. How did I get on that trail. Back on task.

So proceeding with a belief that women and men are equal in value and both created in the image of God, I would like to address the topic of Self-Worth from a non-gender-specific point of view.

The main point that Dr. Seban brought out was that self-worth is like an oxygen mask on an airplane. She said that you are instructed when you board a plane that in the event of a loss in cabin pressure, you should secure your own mask first - then you'll be able to assist others. The inference was that you should build your own self-worth, then you could help others. If you have a low self-image, you will live out the low expectations that you have set for yourself in life. Leeza was completely in agreement, because (as I learned tonight) she wrote a book entitled "Take Your Oxygen First". This may have just been an opportunity to plug her book on the show.

Well, I think that the air mask word picture is about the most poorly constructed argument for self-worth I've ever heard. I'm imagining the author, educated and completely confident in self, going through life with one of those ridiculous looking masks on all of the time.

In this analogy, I see that the oxygen represents self-thoughts of value and worth. The thing breaks down for me in continued thought. You see, if I'm on a plane and the mask appears I will put on my mask first and then try to assist others. I will then pray a prayer and cry (I'm a big chicken at heart and have an acute fear of dying on a plane). Let's say for the sake of argument that I die - then the oxygen did me absolutely no good. Even if it sustained my life for a few moments or hours, it failed me where I really needed it (perhaps I really needed a parachute). So that line of thinking leads to the conclusion that the "Self-Worth" gospel that is being sold is itself-worth-less.

Let's consider that I don't die on that plane, but land safely and am reunited with my friends and family. Then, I'd look pretty silly showing up at work the following week still wearing the mask. I could get one of those tanks on a dolly to pull with me, and people could ask what it was for and I could tell them my story of how this mask saved my life. I might be able to get some of them to get a mask for themselves as well - I could help them put it on. But this line of thought is stupid (I know that some people are offended by the word stupid, but just get over it. It's stupid)

So I hate the picture of the mask as a self-validation tool, but I want to really stretch to use the comparison as charitably as possible - giving the benefit of the doubt. If my self-thoughts can be truly healing...if they can really have a lasting effect on my life, then they must make a real change. No thinking can help me, especially self-validating thinking, if I must continually be priming the pump. I mean if I have to constantly be refilling the "self-worth" bucket with new and better thoughts and deeper thoughts - because the ones from yesterday don't work any more. Remember Al Franken (before he became a politician) did a skit in which he played Stuart. He would sit in front of a mirror and say "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like me." He would have to repeat these self-thoughts because, as the skit made it clear, they were not true and he needed to be continually indoctrinated (brainwashed) to believe it. That is a caricature of what is being preached by Dr. Seban, Leeza, and today's world of philosophy. Keep blowing up the balloon, and keep ignoring the holes that are in it - if you can blow fast enough it will inflate. Well, that's just hot air.

There is a basic problem. People are worthless. There, I said it. People are of no value at all. Apparently, a great number of effort has gone into calculating the worth of a human body (breaking down all of the elements etc). The total value, less the skin, is valued at less than $1. The skin was valued at the market rate for cowhide totalling 3.50 - for a grand total of $4.50. I personally believe this to be inflated and the actual value to be much less. But even in life, people are liars, cheaters, selfish, thieves, murderers...you get the picture. Even the best people in all of history are (using a bible word - I am a preacher) sinners. And sin is a condition that renders people - the whole Adamic race, men and women alike - Worthless.

So you can pump up the psyche. Validate the self-image. Put on the oxygen mask. Inflate the balloon - but the task is hopeless. I wish these prophets of the Self-Worth god would be honest enough to admit that when the books are sold and the crowds are gone, and the speaking engagement is done and they are alone in bed at night - they must still feel like they are not doing enough. They must believe that they have not accomplished enough - that they really ARE not enough. I wonder if they are even that honest with themselves. I fear that they can't be for fear that the balloon will deflate too quickly and their life will be seen for what it actually is - Worthless.

Men and women are so worthless, that we are only to be thrown into the fire - like trash. That would be the end of the story for Worth, but there is actually another chapter. It requires a little shift. You see if this story continues - from worthless - where is there left to go? Nowhere. To see the other chapter, we really have to come to this place from an entirely different angle. We can't start with men and women and end up with worth - we are worthless. We must begin with true worth.

Well, the only One of innate value is God. God is self-sustaining, self-validating, self-worthy. (it just occurred to me that when we try to become those things, we are really trying to be gods) One of God's most wonderful attributes (as if we could rank them on a scale) is His grace. God is truly Loving and Gracious. How could you prove that you are Loving and Gracious? What if you directed your love and affections toward the most unloving and worthless? What if you commended your love to those who hated you. That would go beyond loving some who loved you first - beyond extending grace to those who would be able to offer something. This is precisely what God did for we worthless sinners - men and women, all ethnicities, all positions in life.

People incorrectly say, "The bible says 'God helps those who help themselves'", but that's precisely what God did NOT do. He DID NOT help those who helped themselves. He loved/helped/was gracious toward those who COULD NOT help themselves. That is real grace. That is real love. And coming from the only One of real worth...that is Amazing.

Now that we see that an innately infinitely Worthy (Holy) God has set His love upon mankind (worthless as we may be), we understand that there is now an inferred worth. Let me illustrate. I saw some guitar picks on the Internet for sale - used guitar picks. New picks sell for about $0.50-.90. These were selling used for $1k-$1800.00. They were of no real or innate value - nothing inherent, but were valued because they were the possession of Elvis Presley. Something that anyone would pass up at a garage sale as worthless at any price - now has a value because of factors outside itself. Men and Women, people, have worth based on the fact that God has set a price on us. Our value comes from Him, and as I stated earlier, to attempt to claim value from any other source is blasphemous and an act of idolatry.

OK. now lets talk about the price. God did not value mankind in "fair market" terms. Rather, he looked at the pitiful state that we were in (because of sin) and placed the value based on what it would take to repair the damage. An examination of scripture tells us that God found nothing salvageable - this would have to be a completely new creation. The old would have to go away, and the new life (one of value) would have to come in its place. The cost would be high - frankly, more than I would have paid and more than any person would be willing(or able) to give. The cost...The lifeblood of Jesus Christ. And that's what was paid.

There's a whole lot more to this story, maybe you've heard it but you forgot the price or that your value is ONLY through Christ. Maybe you've never heard it. It's found in the Bible - way better than I have explained it here, it's perfectly presented there in God's own Words. I'd love to share more with you if you have questions or want sources sited - just drop me an email or leave a comment here. Don't forget to tell me how to get in touch with you.

And if you are walking around with an oxygen mask on - take it off. It just looks silly.

Pastor